Three hundred sixty five days.
It’s amazing what can change in that amount of time, am I right?
One year ago today, Sean and I woke up early, drove to the fertility clinic, and it was there, in that place, that we got to meet our baby girl for the very first time. Of course, back then we had no idea that little embryo was a girl or if it was even going to stick around with us.
Infertility is such a scary thing, but if infertility is scary, IVF is the Great White you never want to get in the water with. You invest so much into it. So much time. So much money. So much of your body, emotions, mind. The uncertainty feels never ending.The truth is though, through it all, I felt so much peace. I knew that whatever happened, it was part of God’s plan. Good or bad, He alone was in control.
That day, one year ago, as I sat in the room, watching the screen of our embryo being transferred, I really had no idea what the coming weeks & months would bring; how our lives would change.
Just a few weeks ago, I started really thinking about all that has happened that brought us to this point. I turned to Sean and said, “Do you know that if we hadn’t had those 2 miscarriages, if they had turned into babies, we probably wouldn’t have Tatum right now?” With Sean already having two kids, we never planned on having more than two. If those two miscarriages didn’t happen the way they did, Tatum would not exist. And that. That right there is how I know, more than ever, that God is so good.
Tatum is the light of my life. She is everything I could’ve ever wanted or hoped for in a baby. We have our rough days. We have our days where I am begging- begging– her to go to sleep. But she is truly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. To think about the fact that if I hadn’t miscarried twice, if any of the other treatments we had done prior to IVF would’ve worked, if we had transferred a different embryo instead of her, she wouldn’t be here- well. It’s kinda mind blowing.
Before I get too far down the rabbit hole, I’ll just end with this-
If you are holding on for something, whether it’s marriage, a baby, a new job, anything, keep.holding.on. 366 days ago, my life looked completely different. I wasn’t a mom. I could’ve never imagined the blessing that was to come. I just had to hold on. But 365 days? I became a mom. The difference between 366 days and 365 days, well, it’s life changing. In that 24 hour span, I became a mom. The thing I had always hoped and prayed for. That’s all it took- 24 hours- and my life was forever changed.
And now for some transferversary pictures: